


Natural State

by IheartJack0023



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 01:10:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16007141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IheartJack0023/pseuds/IheartJack0023
Summary: One-Shot. [Law x depressed!OC]





	Natural State

Law stared at her unblinkingly as he had often been doing for his time so far with the straw hat crew. Out of all of the people on the crew, she was the one that had caught his interest the most. There was just something about the smile—the one that she **_always_** had on her face. Something about it that seemed unnatural, and he was sure that it was. He was sure that it wasn't genuine because he had caught it faltering several times. None of her crew members ever seemed to catch it. Though he couldn't blame them for that because it never lasted more than a second. That was the reason why he always tried not to blink when he stared at her; he was observing her, trying to figure her out; he didn't want to miss those moments when her smile slightly fell.

Over his time observing her, he had come to the realization that the only way that he would ever get any answers about her smile was to confront her about it: to question her. Of course, that would only work if he could get her to even answer.

First, though, he needed to find the right time to do this.

That time came one warm night; everyone in the crew was having a feast in the Thousand Sunny's dining area; everyone except her who had gone outside for some fresh air. Law left the room not long after she had while the crew was occupied with their loud singing. He found her leaning against the railing of the ship, staring out into the sea. He walked up to her as quietly as he could, preventing her from hearing him as he approached. He was glad that she hadn't because it gave him the opportunity to catch a full-fledged frown on her face before she noticed his presence and turned around to face him with that unnatural smile back on her face.

"Oh, it's you, Law. What are you doing out here?" She asked him.

"I just felt like checking up on you," he replied.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "Because the Law I know isn't that caring."

"Then maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do."

"Or maybe you have a hidden agenda as you always seem to have. That was how it was with Doflamingo after all." Law frowned at her words. "So would you give me the honor of receiving your hidden agenda for tonight?" Law remained silent for a moment as he contemplated what to say next.

"I'm curious about something," he told her. Her smile widened and she turned around to face the sea once again.

"And what might that be?" She asked.

"Why are you always smiling?" Her eyes almost widened, but she were able to keep herself composed; that was not what she had expected to hear.

"Why not?" She said. "Things are good, aren't they?"

"Are they, really?" He questioned. He saw her smile falter briefly. "That," he said.

"Hmm?"

"No one else seems to catch when you do that, but I have. Several times."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she lied. He sighed

"You're forcing that smile," he stated. "I don't know why, but you are, and I'm curious as to why." Her smile faltered again. "Y'know," he said, "you can stop faking it now; I already know the truth." She hesitated for a few seconds and then let her smile disappear. She didn't say anything right away and Law began to think that she wasn’t going to answer his question, but then she spoke up.

"I'm a cliche," she told him. "I smile to hide my feelings." Law ran through the possibilities of what he could say next before speaking.

"Why do you?" He asked.

"I'm sad. I'm so sad. But I can't have anyone else know that."

"Why—." He paused. "Why are you sad?"

"There's no reason," she explained. I love this crew and I know that they love me the same. I love this ship, our adventures, everything. But, still, I'm sad. All the time. It's as if this is my natural state." She sighed and bent over, leaning her forehead against her arms which sat on the railing of the ship. It prevented Law from seeing her face.

"It hurts," she said. "It hurts so much that I wish I was dead. All the time. But—I can't kill myself. I want to so bad, but...I can't do that to my crew. It would hurt them and I don't want them to hurt. I love them too much to make them go through that."

"Why don't you tell them how you feel?" He asked. He briefly thought about what he had learned about the personalities of all of the crew members in the straw hat crew. "I'm sure they'd want to help." She chuckled bitterly.

"Didn't you hear what I said? This is my natural state. They can't help me. No matter how badly they would want to or how hard they'd try, they can't. And then they'd only blame themselves. They'd feel guilty that they can't help and—that's not fair to them. Because it's not their fault. It's not their fault that I'm like this."

"Your natural state, huh?" Law said, rolling the thought around in his head. "How long have you been like this then?" He wondered aloud.

"For as long as I can remember," she answered. She paused for a moment as she calculated the years backwards based on her age. She was only a few years younger than Law. "So, 15 years and some change." She saw his eyes widen through the corner of her eyes. She gave him a sad smile. "Yeah, I know, right?" She said with a chuckle. "My father was the one that suggested that this is my natural state. He said that I was born like this; that I was made the wrong way." She made a short, thoughtful hum before turning around to face Law with a grin. "You're a doctor! Maybe you can find a way of finding out if he's right. Maybe you can see if there's something wrong with my insides." She lifted her hand to her chest, over where her heart was, and clutched tightly onto her shirt. She could feel her pulse; feel how it painfully beat against her chest. "Chopper has never found anything strange, but he wasn't looking for it." Her smile fell and she turned back around to face the sea. There really was no hope for her, she thought.

Law didn't say anything, though, because he didn't know what to say. He felt sympathy for her, which was surprising; it was an emotion that he rarely ever felt. But still, what could he say? What could he possible say that would help her in anyway?

"It's so tiring, y'know?" She continued to explain. "It was bad when I was a kid, yeah. It was horrible seeing all those other kids laughing and playing while I couldn't help being sad and not wanting to do anything. But as I got older, it only got worse. It gets harder and harder each and everyday and it's just so goddamned tiring. I don't want to do this anymore. I really, really don't."

She wrapped her arms around herself, digging her fingernails into the skin of her arms as hard as she could. She tried to keep these feelings buried as deep as she could, but speaking about it made her unable to avoid it. She felt tears start to well up in her eyes. It hurt. Everything hurt. And she just wanted to distract herself from it. She wanted to feel pain—physical pain.

Law noticed her actions and turned toward her. He reached out to her and grabbed onto her wrists; and then he used his superior strength to pull her hands away from where they were. She looked up to meet Law's eyes and saw empathy in them; she didn't know anything about Law's past, but she could see that he had felt this, that he had felt absolutely hopeless before.

"I think," Law started, "that instead of hoping for things to get better, you should just let yourself get used to the feeling." She opened her mouth to speak, but he didn't let her. "If it won't go away, then you may as well get used to it; then, at least, it might become easier to deal with." She frowned at those words. "It might not be the ideal solution, but—." He paused and let go of her wrists. They fill limply by her sides. "It might be the best possible solution."

"So you're telling me to give up?" She asked him. Law shook his head.

"No. I'm just telling you to take a different path."

"I—." She started, but she stopped when she looked up into Law's eyes. They were a lot warmer than she had remembered them. A smile appeared on her face and Law noticed that it looked a little more natural than the ones that she usually wore. She moved next to him and tiptoed to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks," she told him. She grabbed onto his hand and tugged him back toward where the others were. "We should head back in before the others start thinking that something weird is going on between us."

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Law said with a smirk. Her eyes widened and she blushed at the comment. She let go of his hand to lightly punch him on his bare chest. He ignored the action and walked toward the ship's dining area. "Come on," he said. "We should be getting back to the others, right?" She huffed before following right after him.

Maybe, she thought, just maybe, there was more to Law than meets eye.


End file.
